Why is that when you feel a trifle down everyone pulls out the 'I love you's' when they really don't. I can see everything happening but I'm not stopping it, I'm doing it all myself. I just want to really hurt everyone and that sickens me, it really does. I can't hurt people, not unless I'm trying to push them away, then its for their own good. People hurt me alot, like everyones hurt alot, but I dunno, I have this thing where I'm unrealistic and feel if I actually give away my friendship to someone it will be hunky dory. Alas, no. I'm so fake in the way that i know something but i feel different, i know people do care but i feel they don't give a...two hoots. When you feel something so strong opposite to what you know, you start to question it. Here I am now, kicking up an unecessary fuss. Clever Jo. I just need to ramble and hope I calm down, but this seems to make me feel worse... No one actually reads this so it'll be ok
Everythings OK in the end, just need to keep my hopes up. I really shouldget back to my work...yes 'work' that I have just given up on.